Movie star and Twitter comedian extraordinaire Anna Kendrick is everything we wish we could be if we weren't stuck in our own stupid gremlin bodies.
If nothing else, at least we can enjoy her from afar (that restraining order she served us demands we still at least 3 years away from her at all times).
1. Same, tho.
Oh God. I just realized I'm stuck with me my whole life.-- Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) May 26, 2015
2. Who needs pants when all you do is jerk it?
My online shopping style:-- Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) May 21, 2018
Put everything I like in the cart.
Edit until I'm down to one item.
Decide it's not even worth typing out my credit card info.
Watch free porn.
3. What...what the fuck is this?
when I see someone going about their life without crippling self-doubt pic.twitter.com/rqgYl6tOkW-- Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) July 6, 2017
4. You should only worry if Patrick Swayze starts to teach you how to walk through walls.
Every time "Kendrick" is trending I get worried I'm in a Ghost situation and this is how I find out I'm dead.-- Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) April 14, 2017
5. You can see is peepee...hehehehe...
Is a museum just an endurance test of how long you can last before you start making silly comments about the art?-- Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) April 10, 2017
6. Why can't I be more wet when I'm just sitting around?
"I don't know, sometimes I just wish there was a room you could sit in that made breathing harder."-- Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) April 24, 2018
- inventor of the sauna
7. *laughs nervously*
Me: "Sorry, I couldn't hear you."-- Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) February 27, 2017
8. What do you mean this thing I'll never wear again is a "waste of money"?
Slot machines seem like such an obvious waste of money to me... but I bought an "ugly sweater" just for a party... so I can't really say shit.-- Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) December 7, 2016
9. We're stuck on the fourth phase.
My phases of grief:-- Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) November 14, 2016
Cookie dough straight from tube
Watching adorable animal vids to make sure I can still feel something
10. I have a secret. It's that I eat packets of ramen powder to feel something.
All TV dramas: "Everyone has secrets"-- Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) August 8, 2016
Me: "I don't have a secret. Do I need to get a secret???"
11. Ew, what's this green stuff? BOOGERS?!
Sushi people are such snobs. I ask for a California roll and throw my chopsticks at the waiter and suddenly I'm a jerk.-- Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) May 23, 2016
12. Is it bad if the only pants you have without a drawstring are the sweatpants where they got pulled out?
Is it bad if your best friend sees you wearing pants without a drawstring waist and asks "What's the occasion?"-- Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) March 31, 2016
13. I LOVE CHILDREN HA AHAHAHAH HAHA....
Neighbor's 4-year-old child: Can Anna be the new babysitter? She chases me and shakes me and it's SO much fun!-- Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) March 21, 2016
Me: I WILL MURDER YOU!!!!!
14. Lord of the Funk.
Bruno Mars would be the coolest hobbit in the shire-- Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) February 8, 2016