We've done all the sifting. We trudged through 100s of garbage tweets, all to find these hilarious beautes. If these don't bring a tiny lil' smile to your face, you've got serious issues, buddy. These are cream of the Twitter crop, so you best be grateful.

1. I would love, more than anything, to be able to ignore people more effeciently.

2. Someone start a petition.

3. And I'm here to introduce you to 'Mowing The Lawn'

4. Love how they so easily & casually owned up to it.

5. Wait. Damn, ok yeah this is fucking me up too.

6. Drake please sing this for us. Make this actually happen.

7. Hamster owners: I only had 13 dollars and im too slow at catching house mice so here's this

8. Saving this idea for Valentine's Day.

9. The filet mignon of the divorced dad menu.

10. If only they had waited just a bit longer.

11. He is our idol in the skinny white guy community.

12. Well which is?