You may have heard that ABC's reboot of Roseanne was unceremoniously cancelled in light of Roseanne Barr's string of unhinged tweets - calling Valerie Jarrett a Muslim ape, saying Chelsea Clinton was secretly married into the Soros family, and promoting a few conspiracy theories. In other words, nothing new for Roseanne, but apparently this time it was too much for ABC and their advertising partners, and so the show was no more.

But because we live in very strange times, lots of people have sprung to Roseanne's defense - saying her dangeorus unhinged Twitter ranting was excusable and in no way called for her sitcom to be cancelled. For her part, Roseanne has claimed that she was feeling a little loopy due to taking too much Ambien (Ambien's maker has responded, saying Ambien does not make you a lunatic racist on Twitter). So with that one out of the way, here are the rest of the extremely normal, not-at-all insane defenses being propped up:

1. ABC needs to also cancel the Q'uran

Note: ABC does not have a show on TV that is just the Q'uran. Will update if anything changes.

2. Being called an ape is a COMPLIMENT when it's from Planet of the Apes

I think this is just the galaxy brain meme thought process. Honestly, kinda respect how far this one's reaching.

3. "Being racist and a comedian" is the same as "race-related comedy"


There is apparently no difference between "being a lunatic racist who also happens to be a comedian" and "being a comedian who does comedy involving the topic of race." Good to know.

Note that he did KIND OF walk this back a little bit, but made a defense for himself that had absolutely nothing to do with what people were criticizing him for:

4. Freedom of speech means no one is allowed to criticize you for the things you say


The people offended by Roseanne's statements who no longer wanted to watch the show were ABC executives and all of their advertisers. In response, ABC used their rights to freedom of speech and said "Your show is cancelled" because that's how it works. You have freedom of speech, but you do not have freedom of having to face the consequences of that speech.

5. ABC should also cancel MS-13 (the gang), Iran (the country), Hamas (Palestinian organization), and Obama's migrant cells (not entirely sure what this one's referring to but I don't think it's a sitcom that airs on ABC)

This guy thinks ABC is just in charge of....the entire world? Anyways, I agree that they should cancel MS-13, just to see if they can.

6. They should fire Bill Maher too!


Oh no. Not liberal hero Bill Maher. Please. Please anyone but him. We definitely don't think he's also a racist piece of shit who doesn't deserve a platform to espouse his gross views and lame jokes. Please don't cancel him and make it so I never have to see his terrible shit-eating grin ever again.

Also, it should be noted that ABC did ALREADY CANCEL BILL MAHER LIKE 15 YEARS AGO.