Sex is cool as hell and good as hell. But all good things have their ugly edges. Strap on and in for the bumpy ride through SHIT SEX CITY.
1. Venturing into the unknown is scary, but also exciting, Duchebagel
First time sleeping with a new partner always feels odd to me if I have to initiate it. I don't yet know this person's preferences, I don't know how fast or slow I should advance foreplay into sex, and I worry that I will either come on too strong or seem inexperienced. Once the dynamic has been established I have no issues, but that first time always has me worried.
2. This man needs to be jettisoned into outer space, jcpianiste
When dudes think they don't need to clean up after. PLEASE DON'T RUB YOUR STILL-DRIPPING WANG ON MY DRY-CLEAN ONLY COMFORTER, YOU BARBARIAN.
3. This is why the only ass I smack is imaginary ass when I'm dancing, The_Blue_Watch
When you slap her but don't get that satisfying sound because you didn't use the right technique
Or when you slap her ass at the wrong angle and it just hurts her instead. Then i'm slightly frustrated with myself, she's hurt, the moment is interrupted and the flow is all wrong. Why does the booty have to be so different from slightly different angles. Why!?
4. Just wear a monocle, those always make you look older, khukk
A girl I was messing with loved getting head, but hated my beard. So I sacrificed looking 12 for sex.
5. What was with you is that we're all massive horndog perverts, melangalade
after you finish it fades waaaaay too quickly. the feeling I mean. when I wait for hours at work, imagine every detail, then you do it, finish, and bam, like wtf was with me all day
6. Forever chasing the feeling of that first hit, NotoriousTNT
Do you just ever get to a point where you realize you have to go the bathroom and you just lose the vibe because you're too focused on not peeing on your partner
7. Morning sex: the shitty movie sequel that still makes a ton of fucking money, mo799
Wake up sex. I'm not wet, I look like hell, we both need showers, etc... and then he'll want to go back to sleep! I'm the type of person who just can't fall asleep after waking up, so I just lay there bored.
8. Then an all out brawl ensues and that's always a pain to deal with, swigglediddle
When you're trying to get comfortable but then you accidentally elbow her in the face. That usually ruins the mood
9. Lifehack: just piss the bed, shuttterhappy
10. Summertime is approaching and this will be rearing its ugly head back into our lives, AyBake
Sex is already a sweat-inducing activity. No need to push it to the point of being a heat casualty by leaving a heater on or by not turning on the ceiling fan.
11. I already clean my apartment, now you're telling me I need to clean MYSELF, Took-the-Blue-Pill?
As a gay man: having to do the before cleanup.
12. Ahh the great duality of man: rest, or fuck. Via Lucienshand
The refractory period: when the mind is willing but has to argue with the flesh, that wants nap time.
13. Gotta stretch those hammies out, twilightsentinel
Muscle cramps. Especially because they are always at the most inopportune times.
"Come on man, I was doing good there for a second!"
14. I think we can all agree this is the worst. Thank you, Hadgfeet
Getting blood on your clown costume