The Botnik Predictive Writer is a web app that lets you load in a large volume of content (for example, every Seinfeld script ever written) and then, by pointing and clicking on a series of generated words, you can make a TOTALLY FRESH AND NEW version of the source materal (that rarely makes sense but is always hilarious).

By this point, I'm sure most of you have seen some of the more popular output to come from Botnik, such some incredible new chapters of Harry Potter:


Or maybe this series of fake Yelp reviews for famous landmarks:


Reading this stuff got me thinking, I wonder what would happen if I loaded in a ton of comic scripts that I've made for CollegeHumor, and then used Botnik to generate a totally new script, which I would then have to draw! 

It sounded like a really fun experiment, so I started by generating a title:


Okay, honestly, it's a little weird, but to be fair I AM curious as to why some of my friend would be staring at a toilet so this title would DEFINITELY get a click from me.

I then proceded to generate both an action and a single line of dialog for each panel. Once all was said and done, I formatted everything and... this... this is the script I ended up with:


To be honest, it reads like either the fever dream of a dying man or the leaked script for the next season of Twin Peaks. It doesn't really fit my usual comic critera of being relatable or light-hearted or... not... incredibly disturbing and unsettling. 

BUT I made a promise from the outset, so I got right to work making this thing a reality, and THIS is the final product:

 I Used A Robot To Write A Comic And It Got Very Weird

I don't know if I can ever truly atone for my sins, but I will spend the rest of my days on this earth in the attempt.

I'm sorry.