1. A nice Esméralda, perhaps
2. Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme, Girl and the Rat
3. Float like a butterfly sting like Akeelah and the Bee
4. Hand crafted by the gods to have the most punchable face
5. Oh shit
6. Sir has your hair ever tried spinning webs of words to Wilbur the pig
7. Is she a recipient of a Logan or Jake Paul hair transplant
8. Just with none of the flavor tho
9. Tfw your tears are being licked off your face after eating chili made out of your parents
10. Your parents are getting a folded up flag for this one
11. Stay in and text her to come back!
12. There is no combination of three words to describe a person that I could despise more
13. If you haven't seen this ad they're making fun of, consider yourself lucky
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