1. That isn't really how necks work, but otherwise I see your point.

2. 2024: "President Logan Paul just dabbed his way to the White House!"

3. It's time for the Jedi...to end....their practice of suckin' out raw unpasteurized milk from gross anteater-goats.

4. Mayyybe you should have sent your ward to a regular school, Batman.

5. Other than the weird evolution of cyberbullying, I'm hopeful for modern tolerant teens.

6. The most inspiring thing you'll read all day.

7. The older I get, the fewer bands I've heard of.

8. Millennials are killing the headline industry.

9. They're even the same pale orange color he is.

10. Step up your game, Ferris Bueller.