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New year, new you! It's 2018 - a new year full of endless possibilities and potential! Of course, it'll probably go like every previous year has gone - you start off excited, slowly get worn down, and end the year at a similar status quo to where you began, but who knows! Maybe this year will be different! But in case it isn't, at least you started it off by reading some funny tweets.



1. Cats are nature's greatest mystery.



2. Wow, the advertising for Infinity War has taken a weird turn.



3. I identify as "Bing-fluid."



4. Oh, right. The essay. The essay for film class, the essay chosen especially to pass film class, film class's essay. That essay? 



5. The Moon gets to do all of the fun stuff.



6. Please leave that extremely accurate portrait of 2007-era Jonah Hill alone.



7. Still, replacing "Wine Moms" with "Hash Moms" is gonna be pretty rad.



8. TheDailyBugle.com has made a few changes.



9. This is why we need a "pat on the back" reaction for Facebook.



10. DAMMIT, DONALD, I SAID GO MAKE MAC 'N CHEESE.



11. The best review of Jurassic Park ever.



12. The apocalypse is gonna be very cute, at least.



13. Future serial killer, exhibit A.