For too long, Halloween songs have been dominated by 1950's werewolves, ghouls, and vampires - cartoonish spooky monsters that have a new dance for you to learn, or are giving people from 70 years ago a ghastly fright.
We need a Halloween song for the modern age.
We need something actually scary, that's also brave enough to be vulnerable.
We need Spider in My Room (I'm Tryna Fuck It).
Spider in My Room (I'm Tryna Fuck It) is exactly what it sounds like: a rap that goes fucking hard about @offthehorn wanting to fuck a spider.
[Intro] Yo, Whatup This's for anybody who's ever made love to a spider To anyone who's ever caught feelings for a spider Anyone who just wants to take a spider into your bed and just make out with it and be sweet Yah
Even if you have never made love to a spider, or even caught feelings for a spider, everyone out there has at some point at least wanted to take a spider into your bed and just make out with it and be sweet.
Okay, I think it's time to bring my friends around Okay They're like: "Whatchu mean you love a spider?" (weird) Okay I'm like: "Yo this ain't your average spider" Uh, I take my spider out to dinner yeah (yeah) Okay, you know my spider is a winner yeah (number one) Okay, I fly my spider out to Paris (Eiffel Tower) Yah, this spider 'bout to meet my parents (yah yah) Okay Now I'm fighting with my parents (nah) They think it's weird I love a spider But I don't care yeah I love a spider and I wanna tell the world (wooh) The thing about my spider is it ain't no fucking girl (gay spider)
Fuck what your friends and parents say. Sure it's a spooky spider that is gay and also not a human being, but it's also the light of my goddamn life.
For full enjoyment, please enjoy the visual concept album accompanying "Spider in My Room (I'm Tryna F**k It)". Happy Halloween.