Sponsored by Quelf from Spin Master
1. The Rule Master
Board games have rules for a reason, but there's a difference between playing by the rules and adhering to them with every fiber of your being. The Rule Master toiled over the paper insert that tells you how to play, absorbing every word of it into the very essence of his soul. Before the game starts, he must take us on a 20 minute journey explaining every intricacy of the game. If a question about rules ever comes up, he pauses the game and goes back to the holy scripture for a ruling. He may be a little annoying, but he's also necessary. Him reading the rules means you don't have to, so that's nice.
2. The Lucky Beginner
Beginner's Luck is very real and nowhere is that more apparent than at a board game night. The Lucky Beginner couldn't be more inept at the game you're playing. They seem perplexed by even the most basic aspects of the board game. "What's this cardboard thing?" they ask. "Bo-ard? Am I saying that right?" Despite the fact that they don't have a clue what they're doing, they somehow manage to be great at it. They inevitably win, handing seasoned veterans their heinies without even realizing it until those seasoned veterans tell them so.
3. The One Who Says They're Sitting Out But Still Tries To Play
It should be a rule that if you attend a game night, you have to participate. I mean, why wouldn't you? Board games are fun! Unfortunately, there's always someone who comes to the party and decides that they don't want to participate. That would be annoying enough, but then they always inevitably change their mind the second they see the people around them having fun. Instead of sitting out like they promised, the perch over players' shoulders telling them answers to trivia questions like they're some sort of gaming God looking down from on high. Here's a tip: Next time, just participate instead of making the game less fun for those who do.
4. The Overly Competitive One
There's nothing wrong with a little healthy competition, but this guy takes it WAY too far. Games are supposed to be fun. You can be invested, but it shouldn't look like you're struggling to keep yourself from flipping the game over, flipping people off, and severing multiple friendships just because you had a bad turn. Three deep breaths and remember that it's just a game.
5. The One Who's Always On Their Phone
Obviously, games are the most fun when it's your turn. That doesn't mean you should completely check out whenever the game isn't SOLELY about you. The second this person's turn is over, they immediately check out, pulling out their smart phone and texting their entire phonebook, save for the people who cared about them enough to invite them to a game night. Why can't they just be present? They're with their buds at a game night. What could be better than that?
6. The One Who Takes Forever To Take A Turn
This person seems shocked every time their turn rolls around, like there was no possible way they could have predicted it. When the game does come back to them, they use it as an opportunity to hold up the game by doing everything they could have done when other people were going. When they finish their to-do list they come back and hum for a good ten minutes trying to figure out the perfect move to make. When they finally decide, it's usually not that great a move and it certainly wasn't worth the time it took to decide.
7. The Couple Who's Taking It Easy On One Another
I get it: Nobody wants to compete with the person they love. But if that's the case, then don't enter into a competition with the person you love! Though not technically on a team with one another, they're clearly on a team with one another. They bend the rules, give each other hints, and just generally seem less interested in playing the game than making each other feel good. Leave the lovey stuff for the bedroom, guys. This is game night. We came here to play.
8. The One Who Always Wants To Keep Playing
Game nights are the best, and like all good things, they must eventually come to an end. Unfortunately, one player can't seem to let it go. Everyone else is tired but he's begging for one more game. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Remember: If you stop playing now, that just gives you an excuse to start planning your next game night!
9. The Game Snob
You thought you were having fun, but according to this guy, that's not the case. If you were a real gamer you'd know that what you're playing is far too simple and mainstream to be anything but poser nonsense. You're allowed to have opinions, but at a certain point, just shut up and play the game, dude. Nobody is impressed by you being stuck up.
10. The Rage Quitter
"I didn't like this game anyway," he yells as he slams his cards on the table and runs to the other room to sulk. It's a weird thing to say given that he seemed to be having lots of fun ten minutes ago when he was winning. Losing shouldn't be the worst thing in the world, but this dude makes it seem like it is. Take a deep breath, my man, and stop ruining everyone's good time! It's really hard to keep playing a game when somebody quits midway through and throws a tantrum.