Humma-na humma-na humma-na. When you get with words this hot and spicy that's all there is to say. We will also accept AWOOOGA AWOOOGA, and your eyes cartoonishly bugging out of your head while your jaw is dropped on the floor.
1. Weddings are where it's at, aCrazyDutchman
Was at a wedding and after having a little bit to drink decided to be goofy and dip my finger in wax and poke my friends mouth who was one of the bridesmaids. She put her mouth around my finger thinking it was frosting or something and we both laughed then I made fun of her for it. Then she looked me straight in the eyes and said "you put it in my mouth so I sucked it" in one of those innocent/not so innocent tone of voices. Kissed her a bit later that night. Good times.
2. middleagenotdead in a league of his own with an "impressive even when sitting" bulge
In college once, I had a waitress at the late night dinner, give me her number on a napkin with a note that she wanted to see if the bulge in my pants was as big as it looked. God, that makes me hot thinking about it 25 year later. What a night that was!
3. Straight to the point. How's a guy like Zevile supposed to respond
"do you wanna come over for a cup of coffee and a blowjob?" in a text message if that counts
4. Unlike bluetoothed, the only mouth I can use anytime I want is my own
When I was 19 - 21 I worked a 56hour shift with a developmentally disabled client in an old farmhouse on 10 acres. There was male staff and client upstairs, and female staff with client downstairs. The female staff member would come upstairs and chat/watch tv with me for a couple of hours when the clients had gone to bed and one night out of nowhere she just asked me if I wanted a blowjob, which of course I did. After she was done she told me that she had a bit of an oral fixation and as she was going back downstairs she said. "you can use my mouth anytime you want. goodnight!"
5. TardisFarmer27 leading a porn-plot kinda life
As a guy into older girls, probably hearing an old high school friend who was about twenty call me "jailbait" when I was about 17.
6. If you're Australian you can read the phone book and it'll be the hottest thing I've ever heard. From Wrenthorpian:
Ex-girlfriend, naked in bed "choose your own adventure" in her lovely Australian accent. Also the Australian "HOLY FUCK" when she came.
Kirsty, you have a special place in my heart.
7. Is this even legal, PostyMcPostertun? CAN IT EVEN BE DONE?
She Moaned my girlfriends name when I was banging her during a 3way. I swear nothing has ever sounded hotter than my girlfriends name being moaned by another girl
8. MUST BE NICE metalhead4
Ex girlfriend said to me the first time she felt my dick "oh my God." Then we layed there tryin to sleep and she rolled over and said "I can't stop thinking about it I need to suck your dick."
9. efclarkiii, this is why the 😳 emoji was made
While fingering a girl... Her: Use two fingers. Me: I am. Her: Use three.
10. Smooth as shit. And hey, I don't like coffee either, Slamboni12
She-Come up for coffee
Me-I don't drink coffee
She-I don't have any
11. Well ok then, zigbig79
Quote "if you fuck my ass you have to cum in my ass" long story short, I came in her ass
12. Goodness gracious, gangsta_baby
She said "I can feel you stretching me out!" In almost a lustful groan after a few minutes of sex.
She was so tight. When she whispered that I don't think I've ever been more turned on in my life.
13. C'mon you know better than that, fixerofthings
A girl who caught me looking at her very toned legs in jeans.
Her: "Whatcha looking at?"
Me: Sorry your legs look great in those jeans.
Her: You should see me without them.
ME: Why would you take off your legs?
14. EvilKHANevil living a Game of Thrones episode...I guess without all that death tho
While casually watching a movie with a girl I was into she out of the blue said "want to record me while I suck your cock?" She had a thing for recording herself giving blow jobs and would compare them to another one of her friends recording. It eventually led to my first 3 way with them both.
15. i-can-relate and all the people in this Askreddit thread are making me feel vanilla as shit
One night after a bad breakup, I went over to my buddy's house. He had a live-in nanny that lived there - smoking hot 19 year old girl that I'd only briefly met before. Things were winding down, my buddy and his wife go to bed and the nanny mentions she's going to bed too. I said something about "nice talking to you" and how I was leaving. And she replied with "no, I meant we're going to bed."
16. Why, yes. Yes I do. From Olitrolly:
After kissing my best guy friend on the cheek after a dare at a high school party I proceeded to ramble on about how I felt "so gay". The girl I had been hanging out with for the majority of the night turned to me and said "want to feel straight?"
17. mrsuns10 melts for those secret, steamy words:
Its Free Real Estate