We like to play a game at the office, just posing "Would you rather" situations to each other to see how people respond, like:
- Would you rather sweat chili or have every song you hear be sung by your mother?
- Would you rather swim in a pool of broken glass once, or never be allowed to bring your phone to the bathroom for the rest of your life?
The obvious answers, by the way, are "sweat chili" and "swim in a pool of broken glass", because the other two options are UNIMAGINABLE (also sweating chili would sometimes be pretty helpful). Anyways, we decided to get some scenarios from our fans on Twitter to see what twisted mindgames they could come up with - and they did not disappoint:
Would you rather be 17 again or suddenly be 80-- Delaney JZ (@DreamingDel) October 3, 2017
This is tough - being 17 sounds okay, but it also means you'll be young, inexperienced, facing a job market where you would be lucky to get even an unpaid internship, and generally going back to having your life be directionless. Being 80 sounds kinda crummy (since you're nearing the end of your life), but - hey! Retirement, Medicare, and getting to lecture people younger than you all the time.
Would you rather create a cure for cancer, but be poor and get no credit, or create a virus that gives cancer, and be rich and famous for the rest of your days?-- Ben (@BenRieger) October 4, 2017
Here's the twist: I would create a virus that gives cancer, but CONTAIN the virus immediately and then use my fame and fortune and access to the cancer-virus to figure out the cure. BEST OF BOTH WORLDS.
Would you rather be constantly crying or constantly laughing? And i mean like 24/7 tears or laughter-- Clocktober (@Izzidizzibel) October 3, 2017
If I'm constantly crying, at least people would come up to me and offer me hugs and hankerchiefs. No one wants to come near a hysterically laughing person.
Would you rather have unlimited character tweets or be able to edit tweets???-- ?KittyCat 1512? (@Kittycat1512) October 4, 2017
Personally I would rather just have more than 100 followers (99 of whom are Russian porn bots), but either of these sound like decent options.
Adam, please tell me the truth about how the things in life I enjoy are actually terrible - because I will NEVER accept Pete Holmes not being Batman.
Would you rather free yourself from a contagious disease by:-- Mukanshin (??????) (@SaulGalvezPerez) October 6, 2017
A) covering yourself in human feces (not your own)
B) getting peed on by people
I feel like the pee would be easier to deal with - but it's unclear HOW MUCH pee we're talking about here. So, this is a tough one.
Would you rather to have to live without internet or never eat something you like again?-- ??????? ?. (@Angelos5556) October 7, 2017
...well, I guess I'm never having lasagna again.
Watch your parents have sex every night for a year, or join in once to make it stop?-- Stephen Hill (@StephenHasALife) October 6, 2017
This is the worst scenario I've ever imagined. Stephen, you evil genius...
Make a porn for just your grandparents to watch or share your nudes on FB forever.-- Thee Baltimoron (@cwilley3000) October 6, 2017
I was not prepared for some of these scenarios...I don't think I will ever be prepared for this one.
Have more Would You Rathers? Either leave a comment below, or tweet at us so we can ponder more moral conundrums!