Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name. Other times you want to go where nobody knows your name so that you can lie about things that never happened to you for attention and Internet points.
1. Yeah, I'm sure another human being thought your dick was a lightsaber.
2. Prayers for this girl and her unspecified bad accident.
3. Minimum wage will do that to a person.
4. Yup, it's as small as everyone said it was.
5. Did the dude you headbutted have a machete for a head?
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