1. Int. McDonald's Executive Boardroom - The CEO addresses a group of investors
  2. CEO

    Great news, Gentleman! We've just finalized our acquisition of TinyBurger!

  3. Investor

    Great! But...what exactly is TinyBurger?

  4. CEO

    It's a small burger chain very popular with the teen demographic. Many teens see them as a McDonald's alternative in a lot of ways.

  5. Investor

    Perfect! So how much did this little move cost us?

  6. CEO

    Well they're a small team, only about 50 employees, so it was a real bargain! Only 19 Billion dollars!

  7. Investor

    Great! I can't wait to welcome them to the McDonald's fam- WAIT DID YOU SAY 19 BILLION DOLLARS?

  8. CEO

    Yep! Or roughly 380 Million dollars per employee, if you want to think of that way.

  9. Investor

    I do NOT. Why would you spend so much money on them? What do they have that we don't?

  10. CEO

    Oh, nothing. Their menu is basically identical, except their burgers are smaller and more easy to handle.

  11. Investor

    We're the biggest burger company in the world, couldn't we just copy their infrastructure? Or better yet, IMPROVE upon it?

  12. CEO

    Well we could, but I already bought them, so nah.

  13. Investor

    (sighing loudly) Are they profitable?

  14. CEO

    Nope! They're severely bankrupt! They actually give their burgers away for free. It's why teens like them so much.

  15. Investor

    So just to clarify...

  16. CEO

    Uh huh.

  17. Investor

    You paid 19 BILLION Dollars to acquire a company with no viable business strategy just because they're popular with teens who have no money?

  18. CEO


  19. Investor

    Are we going to at least start charging money for TinyBurgers to make any of that $19 billion back?

  20. CEO

    God no! The Teens would hate us if we did that!

  21. Investor

    What about calling them McTinies? Or maybe changing the logo to make it more cohesive with our brand?

  22. CEO

    Wow, you're really not getting this, are you? My teen friends would lol so hard if they could hear you right now.

  23. Investor

    So what, dare I ask, is our plan moving forward?

  24. CEO

    We just let them continue running their business exactly the way they did, except now...we own it! Brilliant huh?

  25. Investor

    Definitely. Sounds great. Can you excuse me for a moment?

  26. CEO

    Sure thing. 

  27. Investor runs through glass window and plummets to his death.
  28. CEO

    Geez, some people just have no financial intuition.

  29. Junior Executive dashes into the room holding a stack of papers.
  30. Junior Executive

    Sir! The Burger King Papers just came through! We can officially give away Whoppers for free at all McDonald's now!

  31. CEO

    Hot Damn! This calls for a celebration!

  32. CEO lights a cigar with a hundred dollar bill, then throws it away and shoves the flaming money directly into his mouth.
  33. CEO

    (smiling painfully) This is how business works.