What You're Actually Saying With Your Reading Material
By Hallie Cantor
Novel Look, everyone, I'm reading a book! Kindle Look, everyone, I'm reading an embarrassing book! Broadsheet Newspaper I'm about to get really depressed. Tabloid Newspaper I like my news light on news and heavy on puns. The New Yorker I like cartoons and having strangers think I'm smart. Gossip Magazine I care more about Disney channel stars than my own family. Shakespeare Play I think I'm still in 11th grade. Math Textbook I'm actually still in 11th grade. Cereal Box I'm. So. Bored. Gatorade Bottle. I'm. So. Hungover. Phone I'm uncomfortable in social situations. Book of Poetry What's a "social situation"?