Praise Yeezus, the invites are already in the mail.
Illustrated by Caldwell Tanner. Images courtesy of Shutterstock.com.
Kim and Kanye's Wedding Invite
By Will Stephen
Kanye Omari West Kimberly Noel Kardashian request the honor that you would have in witnessing the eternal union of the two most gargantuan titans in the history of global artistic enterprise and shit saturday, april the fifteenth, the year two A.Y. (after yeezus) four in the morning, on a fucking spaceship please join in our joy or suck our fuckin dicks Kisses!!!!!!! GIFT REGISTRY - A piece of a star - The beating heart of Liberace - An endangered lion cub wearing Jordans - OMG that Audrey Hepburn poster!!!!!! - Jimmy Choo diapers with iPads on them - Elton John gone off that Molly in a glass case that rotates and lights up and shit - Versace leather shower curtain - Gummy worms!!!!!! - A hug from Mother Theresa - Family Guy DVD - Fashion Week renamed Yeezy's Shit - Oooo, lip gloss that tastes like Sweet Tea Vodka!!!! - An Indian elephant but, like, with my face - Zune - A bunny!!!!!!!! - Cabinet spot in that Obama shit - Mini-Me dancing in an igloo - Pez!!!!!! - Mount Rushmore - Kitchenaid five-speed blender (used is fine)