When we were in highschool, there were four bases. A French kiss was a single, up the shirt was a double, down the pants was a triple, and sex was obviously scoring. But college is to high school what Major League Baseball is to little league. There are still four bases, but how many little leaguers can hit seventy home runs?

You'd be amazed just how descriptive the baseball metaphor can get. Sure, you know the four bases, but was the double a head first slide? Was that triple hit at a home game or an away game? Have you ever hit a single and gotten thrown out trying to steal second by the catcher with a quick arm? Don't pretend you didn't understand all of that.

The first thing you really need to understand is that guys are hitting and girls are pitching. If guys were pitching, batting averages would be upwards of .900, ERAs would be in double digits, and Major League Baseball would set a new record for home runs in a single season.

There are some more baseball/play terms that are a little more esoteric. A walk is when the girl hands you first base, and you don't even have to put the ball in play to get there. A sacrifice happens if you purposely get yourself out simply to advance a teammate. Stealing involves moving up more than one base at a time. And if you remember your little league days, the home team gets to bat last – or in baseball terms, gets "last licks."

Really good ballplayers want to face the best picther in the league. If you can hit a home run off of some guy on the Devil Rays, who cares? I'll take a strike out against a Cy Young winner over a home run off of a refief pitcher any day.

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