Some people suggest that you should make friends with is the person on your floor with a car. I think your time is better spent pursuing that one kid who always says, "that's okay, it's my parents credit card."

Hey guys, want to see something great? Tell your female friends that you're going clothes shopping and watch every one of them beg to come with you. For a girl, guys are the ultimate male dress up dolls. Except a girl never tried to convince Ken to buy a $1200 suit.

One thing I like about being a guy is that when I buy clothes, I keep them. You know why girls go shopping all the time? Because they've run out of stuff to lend other girls.

No one buys stuff with their college's name on it after the first week of school, because you eventually realize that you can't wear it anywhere. If I wear Columbia stuff around campus, people look at me like, "yeah, me too. So what?" If I wear it at home, all my mom's friends want to talk to me for an hour about how I like school. Instead, I always try to wear my Columbia shirts to sleep. Nothing helps a hangover like a stark reminder of my Ivy League education.

When you're in college, you learn to eat on $10 a week, and it's not because you're paying $30,000 a year. It's because you're paying $8 a pitcher.

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