The first time I ever went to Grenwich Village to see the Halloween parade, I was pretty freaked out at all the costumes, the crazy hairdos, and the masks. I was even more freaked out when I realized it was September, and that's just how some people dress.

Every Halloween party has at least one guest who is too lazy to dress up that will say they are wearing a costume, using the same joke the rest of us used in 8th grade. "What's that? You're going as a stressed out student, and really you're just wearing your every day clothing, as if to say that you're a stressed out student all the time? Oh, how absolutely clever!"

Before you hook up with someone at a Halloween party, take this advice to heart – make sure it's actually a mask.

When you were younger, you'd go trick or treating for candy, because that's all a kid really wants. In college, all any of us really want is play. So wouldn't it be awesome if we could still go trick or treating? Just like when you were a kid, you'll get a few people who will slam the door on you, and a few who will give you something you don't want, like fruit – or something of no real value, like pennies. But in any given year, if you went through the whole neighborhood and got just one really good candy bar, wasn't it worth it?

When I was younger, I couldn't afford to buy my own Halloween candy, so freshman year, I bought all the candy I wanted just because I could. If you think a hangover is bad, try waking up the day after you finish a three-pound bag of candy corn.

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