“This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end
Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end…

In a…desperate land
Lost in a Roman…wilderness of pain
And all the children are insane…

The killer awoke before dawn, he put his boots on
He took a face from the ancient gallery…

Paid a visit to his brother, and then he
He walked on down the hall, and
And he came to a door…and he looked inside
Father, yes son, I want to kill you
Mother…I want to.…”
-the Doors


Guys, we’re SO CLOSE! And yet, so many questions still remain!


Here’s what went down this week, in a cup of wine:

Our whole episode takes place in the past, when Jacob and MIB’s birth mother is shipwrecked on the island. She is very pregnant and meets Allison Janney, who helps her deliver twin boys and then kills her with a rock! Allison Janney raises the twins as her own, and BIB (Boy in Black) seems to be her favorite. When they’re 13-ish, she shows them the magical Island Light that one of them must protect when they’re older. Then their dead mother appears to BIB and tells him the truth about Allison Janney. So BIB goes to live with the other people on the island (who were shipwrecked with their birthmother). Thirty years later, he and the other people have dug deep into the island to access the Light. Allison Janney doesn’t like this. She fills the hole, murders the people, and burns the village. Then she makes Jacob the Protector of Light, and MIB murders her but feels bad about it. Jacob’s pissed, so he throws MIB into the Island Light, shit goes down (something “worse than death”), and the Smoke Monster comes out. Then Jacob feels bad, and he gingerly places the two bodies – his “mom” and his brother – in a cave.


Here’s what we learn:


1. The many theories of many viewers have been confirmed: Jacob and the MIB are twins. So the Man in Black, it seems, really is modeled after the Esau from the Bible. (My Catholic school days are not that fresh in my head, but look that shit up, yo. Basically, in the Bible, Jacob and Esau are twins. Their parents play favorites. Then one sells his birthright to the other for some stew. Must have been some good stew. Go here: //biblestudy.pppst.com/genesis/jacob.html and click on “Jacob and Esau" for a children’s Bible story – with pictures!)

2. Many viewers – including many of you guys – have been referring to the MIB as Esau. This seems to make sense, but technically, we learn here that he really does have no name. Why? His mom didn’t think of one. Simple as that. You think Janney would’ve come up with something after that fact, but she was busy with the tapestry.

3. Our Adam and Ever are….well, two people without names: Jacob’s “mom,” and his brother.

4. MIB has taken many forms, but BIB only takes the form of Justin Bieber.

5. The young ghost boy that Smocke had been seeing is Jacob (duh).

6. Kaiser Permanente must have the week off. Anyone?

7. You totally want to put it in Jacob and MIB’s mom. Hot.

8. Evidently, you don’t have to cut umbilical cords on the island.

9. The white and black rocks are from an actual board game that Jacob and his brother played as children.

10.Jacob is on the island to protect the Light of Life. It embodies Life, Death, and Rebirth. A little bit of it is inside all of us, but we always want MORE!

11.As kids, Jacob seems more like a homebody/mamma’s boy. He’s honest, but a bit of a pussy, and a little naïve (“She’ll never die!”) and stubborn (“I don’t care!”). MIB is more adventurous and curious, and he wants Jacob to go with him to the camp. But he’s not evil. Remember, Anakin had to see some serious shit before becoming DV.

12. I really enjoyed the flashback to the caves. The thing is, we would have figured out ourselves that the two bodies were our Adam and Eve, but it was nice to have someone show us. It was nice to take a break from solving riddles and filling in holes and just enjoy the moment.

13.Jacob stopped aging when he took the role of Protector of Light.

14.MIB built the wheel that Ben turns to get off the island.

15. MIB seems to “just know” stuff (i.e. how to play the game, how to create the island-leaving contraption).

16. Let’s examine what we still DON’T know: Where did Allison Janney come from and how does she know stuff? How did she make it so the brothers “can never hurt each other?” We don’t know much about her, except that if she says, “I’m sorry,” run! Also, who created the rules of this elaborate game between the brothers and why? And even more questions: Why can’t MIB leave the island? We know his “mother” said so. But WHY? What’s stopping him? And here’s a bonkers theory: what if he CAN leave the island? Maybe he’s just been brainwashed to think that he can’t, so he never really tried? I’m just saying, a lot of what Janney said was lies. And why didn’t he just try digging again? He’s had like a million year to work on that. Prioritize, dude!