Just did two nights of very fun shows in Indio, CA, out in the Coachella Valley, which in the local native American language means "Holy F**k is it hot!" Indio is in the desert, so of course it was 105 during the day, but at night, subzero temperatures made hoary frost form on my eyeballs. Very confusing weather (I just really wanted to use the word "hoary.").

Indio in and of itself is not particularly a tourist mecca. Unless by mecca you mean Indian casino, and then of course it's like a porch-mounted zaplight to a bunch of  Merit Light-smoking, peach-schnapps-drinking, just-got-their-pension-check geriatric mosquitos. The shows were killer though " awesome crowds, enthusiastic and stoked to laugh, and we had a great time. I even had a fan get engaged and make the drive out from Orange County that night to celebrate. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!

The one local attraction they have here is dates (the semi-dried fruit, not the socially awkward thing you drink to forget on a Sunday morning). You can go to a place called Shield's Date Garden (where they have a "Guardian of Quality" outside, apparently guarding the dates against attack from other giant medieval wooden cutouts) and a film called "The Romance and Sex Life of the Date." I did not watch this film, because I would rather spend my few free hours clipping my toenails and watching Law and Order episodes I have already seen than focusing on two date palms having sex. Call me crazy.

Anyway, the big thing to get here is a date shake. It's a milkshake made with dates. Yes, that sounds odd. And it was odd, and also oddly tasty. Surprisingly tasty. But also weird, because halfway through the shake you hit a layer of date skin, which is not the most appetizing thing to hit in a shake. Dates are very soft and sweet, but they have a layer of outer skin that is on the tough side. Since they grow on palm trees that flourish in the desert, maybe the skin is thick to protect them from the extreme desert dust, sun and heat. Or maybe it's there to protect them from attack by medieval wooden cutout knights. Don't take my word for it; I'm not a scientist.

Either way, the skin was a definite distraction. Call me a radical, but I don't think you should have to chew a milkshake. Maybe I'm out of line.

That being said, it was strangely wonderful. Like nature's butterscotch. With skin.

Like nature's butterscotchy finger, blended into a shake.

I don't think I'm selling it properly.