Gossip time. 3, 2, 1…

Blast off. Hayden Panettiere is hotter than you, and that is okay. Someone has to carry the weight for all us uglies, right? [CelebSlam]

BritBrit might be the new spokesperson for Bally Gym, because she's worked out there a couple of times and is low on tattoo cash. Getting a pair of lips on your wrist is expensive ya'll! [CelebSlam]

Nick Lachey maybe cheated on Vanessa Minello with some mediocre looking college girls. He and his pal Matt Leinhart were captured funneling and playing beer pong with said co-eds, and Nick totally shacked up in a club bathroom with one of them. That's cool for Matt, for Nick is 3-fucking-5 years old. Creepy zone! [CelebSlam]

Here are some naked pics of Orlando Bloom's hot model girlfriend. [IDLYITW]

Pete Wentz has knocked Ashlee Simpson up (and is marrying her) and her dad is trying to shop around an interview with his talentless daughter for $1 million. Obviously no one's biting, because she hasn't been relevant since trucker hats were cool. But how cool will it be to see a baby wear eye liner? [IDLYITW]

Jessica Alba: New, massive baby boobs! Same boring, meepish face. [Egotastic]

Jenna Jameson was out and about promoting some new movie in which she plays a zombie stripper, which honestly sounds like a better gig than being a cracked out porn superstar. [Hollywood]

Mary-Kate Olsen has assumed the role of rich crazy lady a lot earlier than I thought she would. Is she hot with a giant caterpillar on her head? My instinct says yes. [WWTDD]

Here's an important lesson: most women in Spain look nothing like Penelope Cruz. Especially these sad housewives who made a "sexy" calendar to raise money to build a school for their kids. [DListed]

Paris Hilton told a Vegas radio station that her ex-BFF Kim Kardashian's ass looks like " cottage cheese inside a large plastic bag." She's probably just jealous of how good Kim looks in lingerie. [DListed. Egotastic]

It's one thing to forget to wear a bra, but to forget your dignity too? Shame on you, random Danity Kane flash in the pan! [WWTDD]

Cursing the new Yankee Stadium,